FAQ
What families ask us
The most common questions and answers for host families — organised by topic for you.
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Is an au pair the right choice for us?
Requirements, possibilities and answers for your first orientation.
Can an au pair look after a child with a disability who is over 18?
No. Under the au pair programme, an au pair may only care for children under 18 years of age. This applies to children with and without a disability.
Can an au pair meet the needs of my child with a disability?
Yes. Our au pairs stand for inclusion and consciously choose to live for a year with a family raising a child with a disability. …
Can single parents or foster families host an au pair too?
Yes. Even as a single parent you meet the status of a host family. What matters is that at least one child under 18 lives in your household. …
From when does an au pair bring relief in everyday life?
An au pair does not mean relief from day one. Especially in the first weeks it takes time to arrive, get to know each other and learn the ropes. You show the routines, do things together first and hand over more responsibility step by step. …
We have several children, one of them with a disability. Is that possible?
Yes, absolutely. An au pair can accompany both your child with a disability and their siblings in everyday life. …
What is in the host family area?
After registering, your personal host family area opens up to you. There you will find our agency suggestions, speculative applications from au pairs and the full au pair gallery with photos, profiles and introduction videos. …
What requirements must our family meet?
To become a host family, you must meet the status of a family: as a married couple with at least one child under 18, or as a single parent with at least one child under 18 in the household. …
What sets Besondere Sterne apart from a classic au pair agency?
We have made it our task to support, in particular, families with children with a disability, developmental delays, autism, ADHD, ADD or other additional needs through an au pair in everyday life. Our au pairs consciously choose Besondere Sterne and, with it, inclusion. …
Choosing and getting to know an au pair
From the first au pair suggestions to meeting in person — answers on selection, applications, language, countries of origin and your decision.
Which countries do our au pairs come from?
Our au pairs currently come mainly from India, in particular from Kerala, as well as from various African countries such as Zambia, Zimbabwe, Uganda, Nigeria, Rwanda, Tanzania and Kenya. We also place au pairs from Indonesia. …
Do au pairs provide a police certificate of good conduct?
Yes. All our au pairs provide a Führungszeugnis (police certificate of good conduct) from their home country before departure. …
Does the au pair receive a certificate?
Yes. Before departure, we give you confirmation that your au pair has fully completed the preparation according to our standards. This includes the compulsory internships, the au pair academy and participation in the preparatory live calls. …
How do we know an au pair fits our child?
Be as honest as possible when getting to know each other. Describe not only the good days but also the challenging situations in your everyday family life. …
How does getting to know au pairs work?
After the consultation call, you get access to your personal host family area. There you can get to know all currently available au pairs in our au pair gallery. …
How much time do we have to decide?
As long as you need – there is no fixed deadline for the selection process. Some families decide within a few days, others need several weeks. …
How well does an au pair speak German?
The legal requirement for an au pair visa is German language skills of at least A1 level. That is the first language stage, so do not expect fluent German at the start. Some of our au pairs already have A2, B1 or even B2 skills. …
Is there a medical certificate?
Yes. Every au pair provides a Gesundheitszeugnis (health certificate) before departure. To obtain it, the au pair has a medical examination in its home country by a doctor, following our template. …
Male or female au pair?
We recommend not basing your choice solely on whether you as parents would like a male or female au pair. What matters is what your children need and who fits best into their everyday life. …
May my au pair drive a car in Germany?
Yes, in principle an au pair with a valid foreign driving licence can also drive a car in Germany. We recommend that our au pairs also apply for an International Driving Permit while still in their home country. …
We need the criminal record certificate for the Jugendamt – is that possible?
Yes, of course. All our au pairs provide a Führungszeugnis (police certificate of good conduct) from their home country before departure. If you need this, for example, for the Jugendamt (the German youth welfare office), please tell us explicitly again during the matching process.
Costs and funding
What an au pair costs each month — and where funding may be possible.
Can we get the costs of an au pair reimbursed?
Yes, a partial or full reimbursement of costs can be possible for families with a child with a disability. …
Is a follow-up placement chargeable?
Yes. A Vermittlungsgebühr (agency placement fee) also applies to a follow-up placement. For follow-up bookings, it is reduced to 1.078 € (see the au pair contract). …
What does an au pair cost per month?
You can plan for the Taschengeld (pocket money) of 280 € per month, the language course subsidy of 70 €, and health insurance from around 44 €. On top of that come accommodation and full board within your own household. …
Mobile phone and Deutschlandticket – who covers the costs?
The host family should make sure the au pair is reachable in Germany – for example with a simple phone and a prepaid SIM, or a German SIM card for their own phone. A Deutschlandticket is not a fundamental requirement. …
What does the language course cost and who pays for it?
The host family contributes 70 € per month towards the German course, as required by law. Over a twelve-month au pair stay, this comes to 840 € in total. If the chosen language course costs more, the au pair covers the additional costs themselves. …
Who pays for the flight?
The cost of travelling to Germany is generally borne by the au pair themselves. The host family is not obliged to contribute to the flight costs. …
What do we pay besides pocket money?
Besides the Taschengeld (pocket money) of 280 €, the host family covers the statutory Sprachkurszuschuss (language course subsidy) of 70 € per month, the au pair insurance, and the necessary mobility to the language course. …
Visa and entry
What happens between the decision and the arrival — and where you have influence.
How long does the processing of the au pair visa take?
The processing time for the au pair visa varies depending on the country of origin and the relevant German Auslandsvertretung (German diplomatic mission abroad).
Can the processing of the au pair visa be speeded up?
No. Neither the au pair nor the host family nor we as the agency have any influence on the processing time of the visa. Speeding up the procedure is not possible in principle.
What happens at the Botschaftstermin?
For the Botschaftstermin (the appointment at the German embassy), the au pair already needs to have a host family as well as the corresponding contract and visa documents.
What happens after the Botschaftstermin?
After the Botschaftstermin (the appointment at the German embassy), the visa processing begins. The documents are first checked in the home country and then submitted digitally to the ZAV in Bonn. …
When do we learn whether the visa was granted?
As soon as the visa has been granted, the au pair receives a notification from the embassy. Depending on the country of origin, the visa is then either collected in person from the embassy or delivered by courier.
When may we book the flight?
The flight is only booked once the visa has been granted and the au pair actually holds the visa in their hands.
Must the au pair arrive exactly on the contract start date?
No. The contract start date is the earliest possible date on which the au pair is allowed to enter Germany. They do not have to arrive on this exact day.
Who decides the arrival date?
You as the host family agree the specific arrival date together with your au pair. By mutual agreement, you can decide when the au pair should start with you and travel to Germany.
Who books and pays for the flight?
When it comes to booking the flight, we as an agency provide support together with the au pair and our partner agency in the home country, and coordinate the right flight with you as the host family.
Which airport does the au pair fly to?
Please choose a larger international airport for the arrival wherever possible. Airports such as Frankfurt, Munich or Hamburg offer a wider range of international connections and often cheaper flights too.
Do we have to collect our au pair from the airport?
Yes. As a host family, you are responsible for collecting your au pair from the agreed airport on arrival, and for providing corresponding support with the departure at the end of the au pair stay.
What happens if the visa is delayed?
Do not worry — a delayed arrival does not automatically mean you lose part of the au pair time.
Does the au pair contract need to be adjusted if the arrival is delayed?
No. The au pair contract does not need to be reissued or adjusted if the arrival is delayed.
What happens to the insurance if the arrival is postponed?
If your au pair's arrival is postponed, please inform the Dr.-Walter-Au-pair-Versicherung before the originally agreed insurance start date and before the first payment is collected. The insurance can be put on hold, or the start date adjusted, until the actual arrival.
How does the return journey after the au pair year work?
Towards the end of the au pair time, the au pair should decide in good time whether they will return to their home country or, for example, stay in Germany for an FSJ (a voluntary social year) or vocational training.
What happens if the au pair then stays in Germany for an FSJ (a voluntary social year) or vocational training (Ausbildung)?
If the au pair wants to stay in Germany for an FSJ (a voluntary social year) or Ausbildung (vocational training) after their au pair year, they must independently and in good time find a suitable place.
What happens if the FSJ (a voluntary social year) or vocational training does not start straight after the au pair time?
If there is a gap between the end of the au pair time and the start of an FSJ (a voluntary social year) or vocational training, the au pair must contact the relevant Ausländerbehörde (local immigration authority) in good time.
Can the au pair year be extended?
No. An au pair stay in Germany is legally limited to a maximum of 12 months and cannot be extended beyond that.
How recent must the erweiterte Meldebescheinigung be for the Botschaftstermin?
For the au pair's visa application, the host family needs an erweiterte Meldebescheinigung (an extended certificate of registration). This should be as current as possible and no older than 12 months.
Arrival and authorities
Visa, entry, registration and insurance — everything that matters around your au pair's arrival.
How long does it take until an au pair is here?
The path to arrival consists of two phases: the getting-to-know-each- other phase usually takes around 1 to 2 Wochen, depending on the host family. From the Botschaftstermin, visa processing takes around 2 to 6 Wochen, depending on the country of origin.
When should the au pair arrive?
Choose a calm week in your everyday family life for the arrival. Major trips, hospital stays, intensive therapy weeks or other special commitments right after arrival make settling in unnecessarily difficult.
How does the au pair open a bank account?
The bank account is only opened after arrival in Germany and always runs in the au pair's name. One of the requirements is the tax identification number (Steueridentifikationsnummer), which the au pair receives after registering their address.
What updates do we get during the visa process?
You automatically receive an email from us for every important status update – for example, when the documents have been forwarded to the partner agency, the Botschaftstermin (the appointment at the German embassy) is coming up, the visa has been granted, or the arrival can be planned. …
Which au pair insurance should we take out?
We work with the Dr.-Walter-Au-pair-Versicherung. The cost is around 44 € per month. You receive an email from us with the relevant link through which you can take out the insurance. …
Which official steps follow the au pair's arrival?
After your au pair's arrival, a number of organisational steps and visits to German authorities follow. …
Working hours and tasks
Working hours, days off, holiday and tasks — the main conditions for au pairs are set out in law.
Which tasks are not part of the au pair role?
An au pair supports your family with childcare and with light household tasks connected to the children. However, they are not a substitute for a care worker or a skilled professional, nor for a cleaner or housekeeper. …
Can we expect small tasks on the au pair's day off?
The basic rule is: a day off is a day off. No work tasks are assigned to the au pair on this day. At the same time, an au pair lives as a family member in the household. …
How many hours does an au pair work?
An au pair works no more than 30 Stunden per week and a maximum of 6 Stunden per day, spread over no more than 5,5 Arbeitstage. …
How much holiday entitlement does our au pair have?
Your au pair is entitled to 2 Tage of paid holiday per month spent with you. For a twelve-month au pair stay, this comes to 24 days of holiday. …
How much time does an au pair spend with us as a family outside working hours?
This varies a great deal from au pair to au pair. Some au pairs like to spend a lot of time with their host family, others tend to withdraw more often in their free time or meet friends. Both are entirely fine. …
May my au pair also work at weekends?
Yes. Your au pair can of course also support you at weekends. The days off do not always have to fall on Saturday and Sunday. At least one weekend a month must, however, be free.
May the au pair come on holiday with us, even abroad?
Yes. Within the Schengen area, the au pair can generally travel together with their host family. For travel outside the Schengen area, an additional visa may be required depending on the destination country.
May the au pair work on the side?
No. Additional employment alongside the au pair arrangement is not permitted. This is not a rule set by our agency, but follows from the legal requirements for an au pair stay.
Our au pair is out in the evening and at night. What can we agree on?
An au pair is an adult and can generally organise their free time themselves. At the same time, they live as a family member in your household. That is why you should agree from the start what matters to you for living together. …
What counts as working time, and what counts as family time?
Working time is, in principle, the time during which the au pair is required to be present or takes on a specific task for the family. This includes childcare, babysitting — even when the children are already asleep — and agreed light household tasks. …
When does the au pair have time off?
An au pair has 1,5 consecutive days off per week and at least one free weekend a month. The days off do not have to fall on the same weekdays every week, but can be arranged individually to suit family life.
Living together and settling in
Arriving, settling in, growing together — finding a shared everyday life step by step.
What happens if it does not work out?
Not every difficulty means straight away that it does not work out. What matters from the start is open and honest communication, brief everyday conversations and regular feedback conversations. Many misunderstandings can be resolved early this way. …
Must an au pair live with the host family?
Not necessarily directly in the host family's flat or house. Under certain conditions, separate accommodation in the immediate vicinity of the host family can also be provided for the au pair.
What do we need to prepare before arrival?
Before arrival, above all the au pair's room should be fully prepared, the family's most important routines clarified, and all organisational matters for the first few days planned. …
How do we handle different eating habits?
Food is a piece of home - and especially in the first few weeks, the familiar can be very comforting. Your au pair does not have to adapt to German eating habits from one day to the next. …
Our au pair is withdrawing. Is that normal?
Withdrawal can have many causes and does not automatically mean your au pair feels uncomfortable with you. Especially early on, homesickness, the many new impressions, uncertainty or feeling overwhelmed can all play a role. …
Our child does not respond to the au pair. What should we do?
Give your child time and try not to force anything. An au pair is at first a completely new person in your child's everyday life - with a different voice, perhaps a different language, a different appearance and a different way of communicating. …
What happens if my au pair falls ill?
Of course an au pair can also fall ill. For this case, they hold health insurance for the duration of their stay and can receive medical treatment in Germany. …
What happens in the first twelve weeks?
The first twelve weeks lay the foundation for a successful au pair year. During this time, the au pair, host family and children really get to know each other, routines develop, and the au pair steadily gains confidence in everyday family life. …
The time afterwards
When the year ends: what comes next, saying goodbye and finding the next au pair.
May the au pair leave early if they find a place in vocational training or an FSJ?
Many au pairs from third countries come to Germany with a clear goal: during their au pair year, they want to improve their German and afterwards start vocational training (Ausbildung) or a voluntary social year (FSJ). …
Our au pair is already talking about the time afterwards. Is that normal?
Yes, absolutely. For many au pairs, the au pair year is deliberately the first step towards a future in Germany. They want to improve their German and afterwards start vocational training, an FSJ or a Bundesfreiwilligendienst (a federal volunteer service). …
What does an au pair need for vocational training or an FSJ?
First, the au pair needs an offer for a place in vocational training or an FSJ. The further steps for moving from the au pair stay into the new activity are then clarified by the au pair together with their new employer or provider. …
What happens between the end of the contract and the start of training?
The end of the au pair contract and the start of vocational training or an FSJ often do not follow on seamlessly. For this transition period, the au pair needs a new immigration law solution. The au pair visa itself cannot be extended. …
When should we start looking for the next au pair?
Ideally, you get in touch with us around three months before the planned end of the current au pair stay. This leaves enough time to get to know a new au pair without rushing, complete the formalities and plan the arrival. …
Getting to know each other
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