Working hours and tasks
Our au pair is out in the evening and at night. What can we agree on?
Short answer
An au pair is an adult and can generally organise their free time themselves. At the same time, they live as a family member in your household. That is why you should agree from the start what matters to you for living together.
This can include, for example, that your au pair lets you know briefly if they will not be coming home overnight. Visitors to the house should always be agreed with you in advance.
Last updated: 13.08.2026
Clear arrangements for living together
Think of it in a similar way to an adult child who still lives at home: you do not decide how they spend their free time, but you do want certain arrangements for living together.
So talk from the start about what matters to you — for example, a short message if your au pair is staying overnight at a friend's or will only come home the next day.
Your family and house rules apply to visitors in your home. The au pair should therefore not invite friends or other people into your home without your prior agreement.
The more clearly such expectations are discussed with one another from the start, the fewer misunderstandings arise later.