Is an au pair the right choice for us?

Au pair or FED: the difference?

Short answer

A Familienentlastender Dienst (FED) or Familienunterstützender Dienst (FUD) comes into the home for set hours, with changing staff and a clearly defined remit. An au pair lives with you, knows your child and is present across the whole day. The two do not rule each other out.

Last updated: 13.08.2026

What lies behind it

The Familienentlastender Dienst — in some regions called Familienunterstützender Dienst — is a professional local service. It is organised through a provider, comes at agreed hours and is often paid for through recognised benefits. The person providing care sometimes changes, and the remit is clearly defined.

An au pair is a different thing. It moves in with you for six to twelve months, becomes part of family life and is therefore not only present at particular hours. Within the legal limits — a maximum of 30 hours a week and 6 hours a day — it looks after your children, helps with light housework and shares in everyday life.

The most important difference is familiarity. An au pair gets to know your child over months: what calms them, what overwhelms them, which routine carries them through. A service cannot build that closeness in the same way, but it brings professional qualification, which an au pair expressly does not have.

So this is not an either-or question. Many families use both: the service for what requires professional expertise, the au pair for the everyday life around it. Which services exist in your area, and what can be approved, is something your provider or an independent advice centre can tell you. We do not advise on that.