Living together and settling in
Our child does not respond to the au pair. What should we do?
Short answer
Give your child time and try not to force anything. An au pair is at first a completely new person in your child's everyday life - with a different voice, perhaps a different language, a different appearance and a different way of communicating. Young children and children with a disability in particular can need longer for trust and a relationship to develop. This does not automatically mean that the au pair is not a good fit for your child.
Last updated: 13.08.2026
What lies behind it
First consider how your child generally responds to new people. Nursery and Kita also have a settling-in period for good reason.
For your child, much can initially be unfamiliar: the au pair's voice, their pronunciation, perhaps a different skin colour, different gestures.
So try not to force closeness. Instead, support the process of getting to know each other in everyday life: which games work well? Which routines does your child know? What calms your child down? What makes them laugh?
Especially at the start, it is important not to jump to looking for a fault in the au pair. This process can take longer and be very individual, particularly for young children and children with a disability. It is not speed that decides whether the relationship works, but whether trust develops over time.