Living together and settling in
What happens if it does not work out?
Short answer
Not every difficulty means straight away that it does not work out. What matters from the start is open and honest communication, brief everyday conversations and regular feedback conversations. Many misunderstandings can be resolved early this way. Should it not work despite all efforts, both the host family and the au pair can end the au pair arrangement in writing with 14 days' notice.
Last updated: 13.08.2026
What lies behind it
Especially in the first few weeks, everyone has to get to know and get used to one another. Different habits, expectations or ways of communicating are quite normal at first. That is why we recommend not letting dissatisfaction build up over weeks, but addressing small things directly.
Short daily check-ins and a fixed weekly feedback conversation are helpful. What is going well? Where are there difficulties? What does each side wish for the coming week? This way, many misunderstandings can be resolved before they grow into a bigger problem.
Of course it can still happen that the host family and au pair find that things do not work out long term. In this case, the au pair arrangement can be ended in writing by either side, with 14 days' notice.
The au pair can then be placed as a changeover au pair with another host family. The host family also has the option, in principle, to look for a suitable new au pair.