Preparing your au pair for your child: what they should know before arrival

The au pair contract is signed, the visa applied for, and the anticipation is growing. Yet several weeks often still pass before arrival – and host families can use this time wonderfully to prepare their au pair for life together.

This is not about explaining every detail before arrival. It is far more important that the au pair gets an initial idea of who your child is, how your family lives, and what awaits them in their new daily life.

Tell them about your child – not just about their daily routine

Of course, the au pair already knows the most important information from the getting-to-know-each-other phase. After matching, though, things may become more personal.

What does your child love? What can they occupy themselves with for hours? What do they really dislike? Are there particular situations that frighten them or quickly overwhelm them? How does your child show that they are tired, hungry, excited, or sad?

Such information can be especially valuable for children with a disability or particular needs.

If your child, for example, has a rare genetic condition, autism, or another disability, you can also send your au pair suitable information material about it before arrival.

This is explicitly not about the au pair becoming an expert on a diagnosis before their arrival. But a little background knowledge can help them make better sense of certain behaviours and start their new daily life with less uncertainty.

Small glimpses into everyday life help more than long explanations

Photos or short messages from family life can also be helpful.

“This is where we pick Emma up from school every afternoon.” (Translated)

“Tuesdays are always swimming days.” (Translated)

“This is the playground the children love most.” (Translated)

In this way, a picture of the future home slowly takes shape even before arrival.

You can also discuss a typical weekly routine together: roughly when does the day begin in the morning? When is nursery or school? What regular appointments are there? When does the au pair usually have free time?

The weekly plan does not need to be settled down to the last detail before arrival. But a rough orientation removes a great deal of uncertainty.

Discuss practical matters before arrival too

Preparation is not only about how to interact with the children.

Also discuss together what the au pair needs for Germany. Au pairs placed through Besondere Sterne already receive a packing list from us for their arrival. Nevertheless, a personal exchange with the host family is worthwhile.

Because you know best what is actually needed where you live.

An au pair from a warm country of origin may not be able to buy suitable winter shoes, a warm winter coat, or good rainwear at home – or such clothing may be disproportionately expensive there.

Perhaps you have something suitable yourself, can pass on clothing from friends, or can get affordable second-hand items locally. Such small things can make settling in enormously easier.

Talk about the region you live in

To the au pair, Germany is initially just a country on a map. But actual daily life differs enormously.

Does your family live in the middle of a big city? In a small village? Does a train run every 20 minutes, or do you need a bicycle for most things? Is there a supermarket within walking distance? Where is the nearest language school? How cold does it get where you live in winter?

Such information also helps the au pair arrive with realistic expectations.

Preparation does not mean anticipating everything

With all this preparation, one thing should not be forgotten: the real getting-to-know-each-other only begins after arrival.

No information sheet and no video call can convey what your family's daily life actually feels like. The au pair has to get to know your children, observe routines, and find their own place in the family step by step.

That is why not everything needs to be explained perfectly before arrival.

If your au pair already knows who your child is, what particular characteristics they have, roughly what a typical week looks like, and what they practically need for the first few weeks, a great deal has already been achieved.

The rest develops where an au pair year really begins: in shared everyday life.