Au pair or childminder – which childcare suits our family?

Anyone looking for support with childcare comes across both options sooner or later.

Yet although both an au pair and a childminder can relieve parents, these are two completely different models of care.

A childminder offers Kindertagespflege (registered day-care for children) within agreed care hours.

An au pair, on the other hand, lives under one roof with the host family and supports them right in the middle of their everyday family life.

Which form of care suits you better therefore depends above all on one question:

Where do you actually need support?

What is the difference between an au pair and a childminder?

A childminder – professionally called a Kindertagespflegeperson (registered childminder) – looks after children within agreed hours. Depending on the offer, care may take place, for example, in the childminder's own household, in other suitable rooms, or partly in the family's household.

Kindertagespflege is a legally regulated form of childcare.

An au pair works completely differently.

They do not arrive in the morning as a carer and go home again once the agreed care time ends.

The au pair lives with you.

They get their own room, are integrated into everyday family life, and support the host family within the framework of the au pair programme with childcare and light household tasks.

In Germany, up to 30 hours of support per week are envisaged.

Do you need childcare – or support with everyday family life?

This is, for us, exactly where the most important difference lies.

If your child regularly needs professional care during set hours, a childminder can be a very suitable solution.

Many families, however, are actually looking for something else.

In the mornings, they need someone who pitches in.

In the afternoons, support with several children.

Someone who plays with one child while mum or dad is there for the other.

Support during the school holidays.

Help with the morning routine.

Or simply an extra pair of hands when several things are happening at once.

That is when an au pair can become interesting.

An au pair provides support right where everyday family life happens

Everyday family life rarely sticks perfectly to childcare windows.

Sometimes the most difficult moment is seven in the morning.

On another day, it is the afternoon.

Perhaps a sibling needs support while the other child has an appointment.

Or during the holidays the whole daily routine suddenly looks different.

Within the legal framework and the agreed working hours, an au pair can be deployed to fit around everyday family life.

The same kind of support does not have to be needed at the same time every day.

Especially for families with several children, this flexibility can make a big difference.

And what if a child has a disability?

For families with a child with a disability, another question arises when looking for childcare:

What support does our child actually need?

If your child needs a professional care, therapeutic or educational specialist, an au pair is not the right solution for that.

An au pair is not a carer and does not replace professional assistance.

But many families additionally need something quite different:

Relief in normal, everyday family life.

The au pair can play with the children, accompany them, support them with everyday routines, or be there for their siblings.

And because they live with the family, they get to know the child better and better over the months.

Familiarity can be a great advantage

Some children with a disability in particular need time to build trust in a new person.

Changing carers can then be challenging.

An au pair, by contrast, experiences the child regularly.

They get to know their routines.

Over time, they know what brings the child joy, how the child communicates, and which situations can be difficult.

A person who was at first a stranger can thus become a familiar, trusted figure.

This is a different form of care to that offered by a childminder – and for some families, exactly what they are looking for.

What about families with several children?

Here too, the two models differ.

An au pair is part of the whole of everyday family life and, within their tasks, can in principle be there for all the children of the host family.

This can be especially helpful when several children have different needs.

Perhaps the au pair stays at home with one sibling while you take your child with a disability to an appointment.

Perhaps the au pair occupies the child with a disability, and you finally have some exclusive time for their siblings.

Or two children need support in different places at the same time.

One adult suddenly becomes two.

Care away from home, or support at home?

This question, too, can help with the decision.

With many forms of Kindertagespflege, the child is brought to the care setting and then collected again afterwards.

An au pair, by contrast, lives right where the support is needed:

in your own home.

So the morning does not begin with a journey to childcare.

The au pair is already there.

They know the children's room, the breakfast routine, and the normal course of the day.

For families who are mainly looking for relief at home, this can be exactly the decisive advantage.

What does an au pair cost compared with a childminder?

The costs, too, work in completely different ways.

The costs of Kindertagespflege depend, among other things, on where you live, the amount of care, and public funding. That is why no meaningful nationwide flat rate can be given.

With an au pair, on the other hand, there are certain fixed costs.

These include, among other things, the monthly pocket money of 280 €, the contribution towards the language course, au pair insurance, and free accommodation and meals.

If placed through an au pair agency, a placement fee may also apply.

A simple comparison along the lines of “what does an hour of care cost?”, however, falls short.

Because the two models each provide something different.

The decisive question: what are you missing today?

Perhaps a classic list of pros and cons will help less with the decision than a look at your perfectly ordinary Tuesday.

Where does it get difficult?

In the morning?

In the afternoon?

During the holidays?

When two children need something at the same time?

When you have an appointment?

When your child with a disability needs more support and their siblings need attention at the same time?

If your answer is mainly:

“What we are simply missing in everyday life is one more person” (Translated), then an au pair could be very interesting for your family.

Au pair or childminder – which suits better?

A childminder and an au pair are not interchangeable forms of care.

A childminder offers a professional form of Kindertagespflege within an agreed framework of care.

An au pair offers something different:

They live with you and support your family right in the middle of everyday life.

Up to 30 hours a week.

With several children.

At home.

And with the chance to build a familiar relationship with the children over many months together.

Especially for families with a child with a disability, the decisive question can therefore be:

Do we mainly need a childcare place – or do we need another familiar person in our everyday family life?

If it is mainly the latter that matters to you, an au pair can be a form of support that suits your family very well.

Finding an au pair for a child with a disability

At Besondere Sterne, we specialise in placing au pairs with families who have children with and without a disability.

In doing so, we do not just look at whether an au pair generally wants to look after children.

We look at the family as a whole:

Which children live there?

What support is actually needed?

What experience does the au pair bring?

And above all:

Which person could suit this family's everyday life?

Because in the end, the decision is not only:

Au pair or childminder?

But rather:

Which form of support would really make our everyday family life easier?