Au pair agency or searching for an au pair online yourself – what is the difference?

If you want to host an au pair, you soon face the next decision:

Do I search for my au pair myself online, or do I work with an au pair agency?

There are numerous platforms online where host families can search for an au pair themselves. Looking at profiles, writing messages, having video calls – in principle, an au pair search can also be organised independently.

But especially if you are looking for an au pair for a child with a disability or developmental delay, it is worth looking more closely.

Because the real question is not only:

Where do I find an au pair?

But also:

How well is this au pair prepared for everyday family life – and who supports us through all the steps involved in the placement?

Searching for an au pair online yourself – what does that mean?

If you search for your au pair yourself via an online platform, the organisation largely lies with you.

You select profiles you are interested in, make contact and hold the getting-to-know-you conversations.

You then have to assess for yourself:

What experience with children does the au pair actually bring?

Which documents are available?

Which requirements need to be met?

Which documents do we need?

How does the au pair visa work?

Which insurance needs to be taken out?

What needs to be included in the au pair contract?

And what do we do if questions or difficulties arise after arrival?

An independent au pair search can work.

But it also means that the family has to organise and check many of these matters themselves.

What does a specialised au pair agency do differently?

At Besondere Sterne, we specialise in placing au pairs with families who have children with a disability and developmental delay.

Our host families include, for example, families with children with:

physical disabilities, intellectual disabilities, autism, ADHD, developmental delays, genetic conditions or rare conditions.

Even individual needs within the same diagnosis can be completely different.

That is why our placement process is not about simply passing on any au pair profile to a family.

We first want to understand what everyday family life looks like and what kind of support is being sought.

Our au pairs consciously choose inclusion

Anyone placed as an au pair through Besondere Sterne knows which families our agency specialises in.

For us, that is a crucial difference.

For us, a child with a disability is not information that happens to be mentioned in passing at some point during the getting-to-know-you conversation.

Our au pairs already know beforehand that they may be placed with a family in which, for example, a child lives with a physical or intellectual disability, autism, ADHD or a developmental delay.

The willingness to engage with this kind of everyday family life is part of the deal with us from the very start.

Practical experience before arrival

Openness alone, however, is not enough for us.

Our au pairs therefore gain practical experience with children before they even arrive.

As part of our preparation concept, this includes work placements.

Practical experience in particular can help to break down apprehension and to experience how different children can be.

This does not, of course, mean that an au pair then knows about every disability.

An au pair remains an au pair and is not turned into a qualified specialist by a work placement.

But they have already gained experience and have consciously engaged with an everyday life in which children can have different support needs.

Preparation for everyday au pair life

In addition to practical experience, our au pairs are prepared for their stay.

Because childcare in a new country means more than playing and crafts.

The au pair suddenly lives with a family that is not their own.

A new language.

Different habits.

New rules.

And possibly a child whose communication, behaviour or support needs are at first completely new to them.

That is precisely why preparation matters so much to us.

An au pair does not have to already know everything. But they should be prepared to learn.

Polizeiliches Führungszeugnis (police record certificate) and Gesundheitszeugnis (health certificate)

When a young person moves in with you for many months and spends time with your children, you naturally want to know which documents are in place.

Our au pairs therefore provide, among other things, a Polizeiliches Führungszeugnis and a Gesundheitszeugnis.

Such documents never replace getting to know someone in person.

For us, however, they are part of responsible preparation for a placement.

The host family decides for itself which au pair it chooses

This point matters especially to us:

We do not decide for you which au pair suits your family.

We get to know your family and find out what kind of support you are looking for.

On this basis, we can introduce you to au pairs whose qualifications might match your requirements.

After that, you get to know the candidates yourself.

You hold your video calls.

You ask your questions.

You talk about your child and your everyday family life.

And you decide for yourself with whom you can picture this working:

“Yes, this is the au pair we would like to welcome into our family.” (Translated)

The au pair, of course, also decides for themselves whether they can picture spending the shared year with your family.

A good au pair match always needs both sides to consciously say yes to each other.

We draw up the contract documents

Once the family and the au pair have chosen each other, the organisational part begins.

And this is exactly where many questions often arise with a self-organised au pair search.

Which documents do we need?

Which contract is required?

What does the family need to fill in?

What does the au pair need?

With a placement through Besondere Sterne, we support this process and draw up the required contract documents for the family and the au pair.

So you do not have to gather the necessary documents from various sources yourself.

Support with the au pair visa

Particularly for au pairs from non-EU countries, the Au-pair-Visum (au pair visa) for Germany is an important part of the whole process.

Various documents need to come together here, and the requirements for the au pair stay need to be taken into account.

We support our host families and au pairs with the necessary steps and with preparing the relevant documents.

In addition, we work with experienced partners in our au pairs' countries of origin.

So there is support not only on the host family's side in Germany.

The au pair also already has a point of contact in their home country.

Our support does not end at the airport

One point is often underestimated when deciding between an au pair agency and searching online yourself:

What actually happens after arrival?

Because even if the family and au pair have had several video calls beforehand, the real getting-to-know-you process only begins once everyone is suddenly living under one roof.

Especially with a child with a disability or developmental delay, the au pair needs time.

They have to learn the routines.

Perhaps learn to better understand a non-verbal child.

Perhaps find out how a child with autism reacts to certain situations.

Perhaps discover what support a child with a physical disability needs in normal everyday family life.

Or understand which structures help a child with ADHD.

This does not happen in three days.

That is why our work does not end with arrival.

We support our host families and au pairs through the important first period together, too.

An au pair is still not a qualified specialist

Given our specialisation in particular, this boundary matters greatly to us.

Even a prepared au pair with practical experience is not a carer, not a therapist and not a qualified pedagogical specialist.

They do not provide professional care or therapy.

An au pair supports with childcare and with light tasks in everyday family life.

And it is precisely in this that enormous value can lie for families with a child with a disability.

Because what is often missing is not yet another specialist.

What is missing in everyday life is simply:

Time. Two extra hands. And another familiar person.

Au pair agency or searching online yourself – what suits us?

Both routes are generally possible.

If you want to search for your au pair yourself online, you take on the selection, checking, preparation, organisation and many of the necessary steps independently.

If, on the other hand, you would like a specialised au pair agency for families with a child with a disability, Besondere Sterne offers you a supported framework.

Our au pairs bring a conscious commitment to inclusion.

They gain practical experience.

They are prepared for their stay.

A Polizeiliches Führungszeugnis and a Gesundheitszeugnis, among other documents, are provided.

We draw up the required contract documents.

We provide support around the au pair visa.

We work with experienced partners in the countries of origin.

And we stay alongside you after arrival too.

The most important decision, however, always remains yours.

You decide who moves in with you

Because an agency can prepare.

It can organise.

It can support.

And it can introduce you to au pairs who could generally match your requirements.

But nobody knows your child as well as you do.

Nobody knows your other children as well as you do.

And nobody can decide for you which person you want to live with for many months.

That is why we do not see our task at Besondere Sterne as telling you:

“This is your perfect au pair.” (Translated)

Our task is to create a prepared and supported framework in which you can get to know your au pair and choose for yourself.

Especially when a child with a disability or developmental delay lives with you, this difference can be decisive.

Because you are not simply looking for any kind of childcare.

You are looking for a person you will welcome into your very personal everyday family life for many months.