When nights are short – how an au pair can support parents
It's 2:30 in the morning.
The child is awake.
By 3:15, they still haven't fallen asleep. At some point, shortly before five, calm finally returns – and at 6:30 the next day is already beginning again.
For many parents of children with disabilities, nights like this are not the exception.
Some children have difficulty falling or staying asleep, are awake for long stretches at night, or start the day very early.
And at some point, it's no longer just about tiredness.
It's about how to get through the next morning at all.
When everyday life starts again straight after an exhausting night
Even after three hours of sleep, children still need to get dressed.
Breakfast has to be made. Nursery and school bags have to be packed. Siblings need to leave on time. Family life doesn't wait for Mum or Dad to catch up on sleep.
And this is exactly where an au pair can be an enormous support.
Not by taking over the night.
But by taking over afterwards.
An au pair is not a night watch
An au pair is not a carer, and of course not a night watch either.
They should not get up at night and take over the child's care.
But, within the applicable framework, their working hours can be fitted into family life in a way that provides support exactly when parents need it most.
And after a difficult night, that can be the early morning.
“Lie back down. I've got this.”
Imagine the night was, once again, far too short.
But instead of carrying straight on at 6:30, the au pair takes over in the morning.
They prepare breakfast with the children, help them get ready, and accompany the usual morning routine.
And you?
You lie back down.
Perhaps you only sleep for one hour.
Perhaps two.
But after a night of being woken repeatedly, those extra hours can make a huge difference.
Staying in bed at the weekend, just this once
This support can be incredibly valuable at weekends too.
The child has been awake since six o'clock?
That doesn't automatically mean your day has to start at six o'clock too.
Perhaps the au pair has breakfast with the children, plays with them afterwards, or takes them to the playground a little later.
And you get to sleep a little longer.
No big outing. No complicated organising.
Simply a morning where someone else is there.
Sometimes that's exactly what relief looks like: not having to be the first one up, just this once.
The evening can become shorter too
Difficult nights sometimes begin with long evenings.
Dinner, brushing teeth, getting changed, reading, settling down – and then perhaps a long period of helping them fall asleep.
When you're already exhausted, these hours can feel endless.
Here too, an au pair can help within the scope of their tasks.
On some evenings, they might take over parts of the evening routine. They might tidy up with the siblings after dinner, help with getting ready for bed, or occupy one child while you focus on the other in peace.
Not every evening then has to rest entirely on you.
Sleep can't be made up – but support can be given
An au pair cannot solve a child's sleep problems.
They cannot make a child suddenly sleep through the night.
And of course they are no substitute for medical or therapeutic assessment if sleep problems persist over time.
But they can do something else:
They can make sure that, after a difficult night, everything doesn't still fall on you alone.
When someone already knows the daily routine
It is precisely in situations like this that the special advantage of an au pair living with the family becomes clear.
After a sleepless night, you don't want to have to call someone in the morning, organise childcare and explain what needs to be done.
The au pair already knows the morning.
They know what the children have for breakfast, what's needed for nursery or school, and how the usual routines work.
They can carry on right where the night left off.
An au pair can't make nights longer – but they can make days easier
At Besondere Sterne, we regularly see families whose everyday life is made even more demanding by short or interrupted nights.
An au pair is not a solution to the sleep problems themselves.
But another familiar person in the household can give parents back exactly the strength that's missing after nights like these.
Early in the morning. At the weekend. During the evening routine. In everyday, ordinary life.
Perhaps it's just two extra hours of sleep.
Perhaps a Sunday morning when you're allowed to stay in bed until nine.
Or an evening when you can already start to unwind while someone else takes on part of family life.
When nights are consistently short, these small windows of time can suddenly become very significant.
Because sometimes the most valuable support after a sleepless night is a very simple sentence:
“Stay in bed. I'll take care of the morning.” (Translated)
