Diagnosis & need
Au pair for multiple disabilities
Support for families with a child with multiple disabilities
When a child lives with several disabilities or additional needs, everyday family life can require a great deal of organisation, support and time.
Perhaps a physical disability exists alongside a developmental delay. Perhaps a learning disability, epilepsy or a sensory disability is also present. Some children live with a rare genetic syndrome that affects several areas of development at the same time.
As varied as these combinations can be, so too are the children themselves.
An au pair for a child with multiple disabilities can support families in everyday life and create additional relief.
At Besondere Sterne we place au pairs specifically with families who have children with and without a disability or additional needs — including families with children with more complex support needs and several diagnoses.
What does multiple disabilities mean?
The term multiple disabilities is used when a person has several disabilities or impairments at the same time.
This can, for example, be a combination of:
- a physical disability and a learning disability,
- a developmental delay and a physical disability,
- a learning disability and epilepsy,
- a visual or hearing impairment and a physical disability,
- a developmental delay and a sensory disability,
- a chronic illness and a physical disability,
- a genetic condition or a rare disease with several different effects.
These examples already show:
Multiple disabilities is not a single, uniform diagnosis.
Two children with multiple disabilities can have completely different everyday lives and support needs.
That is why, when arranging a placement, we do not first want to know which category your child fits into.
We want to know who your child is.
When a diagnosis is not enough to describe a child
Many parents know a whole stack of medical reports, diagnoses and findings.
But these documents do not tell you what an ordinary afternoon at home looks like.
They do not tell you that your child loves certain songs.
That they are happiest outdoors.
That they know exactly what they want, even if they do not communicate through spoken language.
That they need a lot of support with some things and manage others surprisingly independently.
Or that they may use a wheelchair while also being the biggest whirlwind in the family.
That is exactly why we do not place au pairs according to a list of diagnoses.
We place au pairs for a family's everyday life.
How can an au pair support a family with multiple disabilities?
Which tasks an au pair can take on always depends on the child's stage of development, independence and actual support needs.
An au pair can, for example:
- play, read, do crafts or spend time outdoors together,
- support everyday routines,
- help with getting dressed, tidying up or mealtimes,
- take the child to nursery (Kita) or school,
- accompany the child to leisure activities or therapy appointments,
- support familiar daily routines and structures,
- learn the family's agreed forms of communication,
- give the child time to do everyday tasks as independently as possible,
- accompany free time and afternoons,
- look after siblings,
- prepare simple meals for the children,
- take on light tasks around the children,
- provide babysitting within the agreed working hours.
Not every au pair needs to take on all of these tasks.
Before a placement, it should be clearly discussed where the family needs support and which tasks fit an au pair arrangement.
Support does not automatically mean care
When a child has several disabilities, it is often assumed that any childcare automatically means nursing care.
That does not have to be the case.
A child may need medical or nursing care — and this continues to be provided by parents or qualified professionals.
Alongside that, however, there is a whole everyday life.
Someone needs to take the siblings to the playground.
A child wants to be kept busy.
A school run needs covering.
Someone needs to be there while playing.
A child wants to go to sport.
Or parents simply need an extra person around in the afternoon with the children.
This is exactly where an au pair can help.
An au pair is not a carer or a qualified professional
With a child with multiple disabilities, a clear boundary is especially important.
An au pair is not a qualified carer, not a medical professional and not a therapist.
They do not provide professional nursing care, medical care or therapeutic measures, and no tasks that require a corresponding professional qualification.
If a child needs extensive medical or nursing support, this must continue to be provided by parents or suitably qualified people.
This does not automatically rule out an au pair placement, however.
The decisive question is rather:
Which tasks should the au pair actually take on?
When a wheelchair or other aids are part of everyday life
With multiple disabilities, a wheelchair, walking aid, orthoses, a communication device or other aids can be part of everyday life.
An au pair does not necessarily need to already have experience with this.
It is important, however, that before the placement it is discussed openly which aids the child uses and what support is connected with them.
Parents can show the au pair what their child can do independently, where support is needed, and how aids are taken into account in normal everyday life.
For tasks that require special medical or nursing knowledge, the boundary to a qualified professional remains in place.
When communication works differently
Some children with multiple disabilities do not communicate through spoken language, or only to a limited extent.
Perhaps the child uses signs.
Pictures or symbols.
A communication device.
Eye movements.
Body language.
Or their own very individual way of showing very clearly what they want and what they do not.
An au pair does not need to already master this form of communication.
But they should be willing to get to know the child and learn their communication.
Because relationships do not begin only where speech begins.
Independence at their own pace
Even a child who needs support in several areas can do things independently.
Some things may take longer.
They may need aids.
They may need individual prompts or support with certain steps.
An au pair can create the time this needs in everyday life.
Not taking over straight away.
Not automatically helping.
Instead, first looking:
What can this child do themselves — and where do they really need me?
In this way, support can mean relief for the family and space for the child's independence at the same time.
Which au pair suits a child with multiple disabilities?
There is no general answer here.
For some families, experience with children with a disability is particularly important.
Others need above all a patient, calm and responsible person.
Perhaps an au pair needs to be physically active because they will be out and about a lot with the siblings.
Perhaps the most important task is not caring directly for the child with multiple disabilities at all, but supporting the other children.
That is why at Besondere Sterne we look at the whole family situation:
Which tasks come up?
How independent is the child?
How do they communicate?
Which situations need particular attention?
Which tasks do parents or professionals take on?
And where should the au pair actually provide relief?
Keeping siblings in view too
When a child has many therapy appointments, medical appointments or an increased need for care, everyday life is often organised around these appointments.
Siblings live this everyday life too.
An au pair can therefore be a valuable additional attachment figure especially for them.
While parents take a child to therapy or to hospital, the au pair can pick up a sibling from nursery (Kita) or school.
They can accompany them to sport, go to the playground together, or simply spend a normal afternoon at home.
This creates relief for parents — and, at the same time, additional time and attention for the siblings.
A child is not the sum of their diagnoses
Physical disability.
Developmental delay.
Epilepsy.
Genetic condition.
Visual impairment.
Learning disability.
A medical report can contain a long list.
But no child consists of a list of diagnoses.
That is why, at Besondere Sterne, we first want to know what your child enjoys doing, how they communicate, what they are independent with, where they need support, and what your everyday family life looks like.
Because that is exactly what the search for a suitable au pair should be based on.
Finding an au pair for a child with multiple disabilities
At Besondere Sterne we support families with children with multiple disabilities and more complex support needs in finding a suitable au pair.
We do not look at how many diagnoses your child has.
We look at what support your family actually needs and which tasks an au pair can sensibly take on.
You can then get to know suitable au pairs and decide for yourself which person fits your child and your family.
Getting to know each other
Are you looking for an au pair for a child with multiple disabilities?
Then get to know our au pairs and find support that fits your everyday family life.
Besondere Sterne is an au pair agency — not a special-education service and not an advice centre. For legal and specialist questions there is the EUTB: teilhabeberatung.de. Go to whichever advice centre you feel comfortable with.