Diagnosis & need
Au pair support for a child with an intellectual disability
Support for families with a child with an intellectual disability
When a child lives with an intellectual disability, they may need more time, support or assistance in certain areas of everyday life.
What this support looks like differs from child to child. Some children are very independent in many areas, while others need considerably more support with everyday routines, communication or orientation.
For families, this often means that, alongside kindergarten, school, therapies, work and siblings, additional time needs to be set aside for childcare and support.
An au pair for a child with an intellectual disability can provide support in everyday family life and create valuable relief.
At Besondere Sterne, we place au pairs specifically with families with children with and without a disability or additional needs.
Intellectual disability in everyday family life
An intellectual disability can affect different areas of development and daily life.
A child may need more time to understand or learn new routines. They may need support with communication, orientation or everyday routines.
Other children mainly need closer supervision because they cannot yet judge dangers in an age-appropriate way.
What matters to us:
An intellectual disability does not automatically say anything about what a child can or cannot do.
Age, developmental stage, personality, communication and independence differ from child to child.
That is why, when making a placement, we look not only at a diagnosis but at the family's actual everyday life.
How can an au pair support a family with a child with an intellectual disability?
An au pair can be an additional, familiar person who accompanies the child through their normal daily routine.
Depending on the child's age, developmental stage and support needs, an au pair might, for example:
- play, read, do craft activities or be active outdoors together,
- accompany everyday routines,
- support getting dressed, tidying up or mealtimes,
- take on the school or kindergarten run,
- accompany the child to leisure activities or therapy appointments,
- help maintain familiar daily routines and structures,
- carry out simple tasks together step by step,
- give the child time to try things out independently where possible,
- accompany free time and afternoons,
- look after siblings,
- prepare simple meals for the children,
- take on light everyday tasks involving the children,
- provide babysitting within the agreed working hours.
The au pair follows the family's own routines, rules and guidance.
More time for everyday things
Sometimes support does not mean doing something special.
It means having more time for perfectly ordinary things.
Putting on a coat.
Tying shoelaces.
Setting the table.
Packing a bag.
Walking to the bus stop together.
Tidying a room.
Making a sandwich.
Choosing something and making a decision.
Depending on their developmental stage, a child may need more repetition or support with such everyday tasks.
An au pair can provide this time.
Instead of taking a task off the child as quickly as possible, they can stand alongside, explain, try things out together and help where support is genuinely needed.
Independence at the child's own pace
Children with an intellectual disability do not all develop in the same way — and development does not need to match the pace of other children.
An au pair can help make independence possible again and again in everyday life.
Perhaps a child learns to get dressed alone.
Perhaps they practise taking on a small task in the household.
Perhaps they can manage a familiar route increasingly independently.
Or they learn to express their own wishes and needs more clearly.
An au pair does not replace educational or therapeutic support.
They can, however, create space in everyday life for a child to do things themselves rather than automatically having them done for them.
Communication can look different
Not every child with an intellectual disability communicates using age-appropriate spoken language.
Some children speak a great deal, others use single words or short sentences. Others communicate additionally or mainly using signs, pictures, symbols or other forms of augmentative and alternative communication.
An au pair does not need to already know every form of communication.
What matters is a willingness to learn how this particular child communicates.
The family can show which words, signs, pictures or aids are used, and how the au pair can recognise what the child wants or needs.
Free time matters just as much
A child with an intellectual disability does not need a whole afternoon of structured support.
Playgrounds, cycling, listening to music, drawing, swimming, watching a film, meeting friends, baking together or simply messing about are just as much a part of life.
An au pair can be an additional young person the child has a relationship with, someone these things happen with.
An au pair does not join a family in order to turn every everyday moment into a therapy session.
They are allowed to simply spend time together.
Which au pair suits a child with an intellectual disability?
That depends on the individual child.
Some children need a particularly patient and calm person.
Others would like an active companion who enjoys being outdoors, does sport and takes part in a lot of activities.
For a child who needs closer supervision, it can be particularly important that the au pair is attentive, responsible and reliable.
Depending on the support needs, experience with children with a disability or additional needs can be useful.
At Besondere Sterne, we therefore look not only at an au pair's experience but also at personality, expectations and the family's actual situation.
An au pair is not a specialist
An au pair is not an educational or therapeutic specialist and not a care professional.
They do not provide professional educational support, therapy, medical care or tasks that require a corresponding professional qualification.
Their role lies in everyday family life:
Looking after. Accompanying. Playing. Being there. Supporting routines. Doing the school run. Organising free time. Looking after siblings.
It is precisely these everyday tasks that can bring families considerable relief.
When further conditions are also present
An intellectual disability can occur on its own or as part of another diagnosis or genetic condition.
Children with Down syndrome or trisomy 21, a genetic condition or a rare disease may, for example, also have an intellectual disability.
A developmental delay, epilepsy, physical disability or sensory disability may also occur alongside it.
With multiple disabilities, it is therefore especially important not to look at individual diagnoses in isolation.
What always matters is:
What does this particular child need in everyday life?
Relief for parents and siblings
When a child needs more support on an ongoing basis, this often affects the whole family.
A child may need support with many everyday routines. There may be numerous therapy or medical appointments. They may not yet be able to stay home alone, depending on their developmental stage.
At the same time, siblings also need time, attention and their own everyday life.
An au pair can therefore also be there specifically for siblings.
While parents attend an appointment, the au pair can collect another child from kindergarten, take them to sport, or spend an afternoon with them.
This creates relief not only for parents but for the whole family.
Finding an au pair for a child with an intellectual disability
At Besondere Sterne, we support families with a child with an intellectual disability in finding a suitable au pair.
Together, we look at how independent your child already is in everyday life, where they need support, how they communicate and which tasks you would like an au pair to take on.
You can then get to know suitable au pairs and decide for yourself which person is the right fit for your child and your family.
Getting to know each other
Looking for an au pair for a child with an intellectual disability?
Then get to know our au pairs and find support that fits your everyday family life.
Besondere Sterne is an au pair agency — not a special-education service and not an advice centre. For legal and specialist questions there is the EUTB: teilhabeberatung.de. Go to whichever advice centre you feel comfortable with.