Diagnosis & need
An au pair for a family with a child with ADHD
Support for families with a child with ADHD
Homework, appointments, sport, siblings, meals, tidying up and getting out of the door on time every morning – everyday family life is made up of countless small routines.
When a child has ADHD, exactly these everyday situations can call for more support, structure and patience.
An au pair for a child with ADHD can support parents in daily family life, accompany routines and create extra time for each child.
At Besondere Sterne we place au pairs specifically with families with children with and without a disability or additional needs – including families with children with ADHD.
ADHD in everyday family life
ADHD stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
How ADHD shows up varies from child to child. Some children are very active and impulsive. Others are less noticeable for physical restlessness, but find it hard to hold their attention or organise tasks.
Forgetfulness, difficulty with transitions, strong emotions, or trouble finishing tasks once they've been started can also play a part in everyday life.
One thing holds true:
A child with ADHD is not simply "badly brought up" or deliberately inattentive.
In certain situations they may need more support to structure their day and work through demands step by step.
How can an au pair support a family affected by ADHD?
An au pair can be an extra, reliable person who carries the family's familiar rules and routines through everyday life.
Depending on the child's age and support needs, an au pair might, for example:
- accompany fixed routines in the morning and afternoon,
- support with getting dressed and getting ready,
- take the child to and from nursery (Kita) or school,
- accompany the child to sport, a club, therapy or leisure activities,
- play, do craft activities, read or be active outdoors together,
- support the homework routine that parents have set,
- break bigger tasks down into smaller steps together,
- remind them of agreed routines and appointments,
- make room for movement and active free time,
- support with tidying up and everyday routines,
- look after siblings,
- take on light tasks around the children,
- take on babysitting within the agreed working hours.
An au pair does not need to develop new educational concepts.
What matters far more is that they reliably carry through the rules and structures the family already has in place.
Structure can make everyday life easier
"Get dressed."
"Where's your water bottle?"
"Have you got your shoes?"
"We need to leave now."
"Please tidy your room."
What sounds like a simple instruction can, for a child with ADHD, consist of many separate steps.
An au pair can help make everyday tasks manageable and accompany them step by step.
Not everything at once.
First get dressed. Then brush teeth. Then take the bag. Then shoes.
Recurring routines like this can give children a sense of orientation while also taking some weight off parents.
Movement is allowed to be part of everyday life
Many children with ADHD have a strong need for movement and benefit from having it built naturally into their day.
The playground, cycling, playing ball, swimming, walks or sport can therefore become a wonderful part of shared time with an au pair.
An active au pair can be a real asset here.
Instead of spending the whole afternoon repeatedly asking a child to calm down, movement can be given deliberate space.
How much activity suits a child is, of course, individual.
When feelings suddenly become very big
Frustration, disappointment, waiting or an unexpected change can be particularly challenging for some children with ADHD.
Emotions can arrive quickly and intensely.
An au pair should therefore know how the family reacts in such situations and what strategies help the child.
This is not about the au pair doing therapeutic work.
It is about something far more everyday:
staying calm, sticking to clear agreements, using familiar strategies, and giving a child time to find their way back into the situation.
The right au pair for a child with ADHD
Not every au pair automatically suits every child with ADHD.
For some families, a particularly calm and structured person is ideal.
Other children benefit from an active au pair who enjoys sport, likes being outdoors and brings plenty of movement into the afternoon.
Yet other families need, above all, someone who consistently carries through agreed routines and is not easily thrown off balance by a turbulent afternoon.
That is why, at Besondere Sterne, we look at the individual child and at the whole of family life.
Depending on the support needs, it can be useful to choose an au pair who already has experience with children with ADHD, developmental delay or other additional needs.
An au pair does not replace therapy or a trained professional
An au pair is not a therapist, not a medical or educational professional, and not a carer.
An au pair does not diagnose ADHD, does not change medication and does not develop therapeutic measures.
Responsibility for medical or therapeutic decisions naturally remains with parents and professionals.
The au pair's role lies in everyday family life:
looking after children, accompanying them, playing, getting from place to place, carrying through routines, and taking everyday tasks off parents' hands.
Relief for the whole family
A child needing more support often affects more than just that child.
Perhaps one parent has to attend regular appointments. Perhaps a child needs intensive support with homework. Perhaps there are siblings who also need time and attention.
An au pair can support exactly at these points.
It could, for example, go with a child to sport while one parent does homework with the sibling.
Or the au pair takes over looking after the siblings while parents attend an appointment with the child with ADHD.
Relief does not mean handing over responsibility. It means having an extra person at your side in everyday life.
ADHD without a confirmed diagnosis
It is not always already established whether a child has ADHD.
Perhaps there is an initial suspicion. Perhaps nursery (Kita) or school has raised observations. Or your child is already going through diagnostic assessment.
Families with a child without a diagnosis are also welcome to get in touch with Besondere Sterne.
For us, it is not solely which diagnosis is written on a report that matters. What matters is what support your child needs in everyday life, and which au pair might suit your family.
Finding an au pair for a child with ADHD
At Besondere Sterne, we support families with children with ADHD in finding a suitable au pair.
We look together at what your everyday family life looks like, which situations call for particularly close support, and which qualities and experience an au pair should bring for your family.
You then get to know suitable au pairs and decide for yourself which person is right for your child and your family.
Getting to know each other
Looking for an au pair for a child with ADHD?
Then get to know our au pairs and find support that fits your everyday family life.
Besondere Sterne is an au pair agency — not a special-education service and not an advice centre. For legal and specialist questions there is the EUTB: teilhabeberatung.de. Go to whichever advice centre you feel comfortable with.