The au pair and public transport: independence with buses and trains sometimes has to be learned first
“The au pair can simply take the bus.”
To us, this sentence sounds completely self-evident.
We open the timetable app, check the next connection, buy a ticket, change trains and carry on.
But let's imagine the situation the other way round:
We have just arrived in Zimbabwe, India, Nigeria or another country that is completely unfamiliar to us. Would we, on the second day, simply hop on some bus and travel alone right across an unfamiliar big city?
Probably not.
First, we would want to know: Where do I buy my ticket? How do I know which bus is the right one? How do I recognise my stop? Where do I need to change? What happens if I miss the bus? And how do I get back home again?
That is exactly how an au pair who has just arrived in Germany can feel.
Independence with public transport is therefore something that may need to be learned.
Buses and trains are not a given everywhere
Our au pairs come from very different countries, regions and life situations.
Some are used to using public transport every day.
Others were driven around a great deal by parents or siblings in their home country.
Others again know buses but not a German transport network with S-Bahn (suburban railway), U-Bahn (underground railway), tram, regional train and various bus routes.
On top of that come a new language, unfamiliar place names and a completely unknown ticketing system.
That is why a host family shouldn't automatically expect:
“You're 23 years old. You'll surely know how to get to school by bus.”
The au pair may know after a few shared journeys.
But first we have to show them.
Independence begins with orientation
Even in the first few days after arrival, the host family can explore the immediate surroundings together with the au pair.
Where is the nearest bus stop?
Where is the train station?
Which line goes into town?
How do you get to the language school?
How do you get to nursery or school?
Where do you need to change?
Which stop is nearest the sports club or the therapy centre?
And how does the au pair then find their way back home?
This orientation gives security.
It is incredibly important, especially in the first few days.
Do the first journeys together
If the au pair will later be regularly picking up a child from school by bus, we recommend:
First travel the route together.
Show which line to take and at which stop to get off.
Walk together from the stop to the school.
Show the meeting point where the child waits.
And then travel home together afterwards.
The same applies to nursery, therapy, language course or leisure activities.
A route that has been travelled together twice suddenly seems much less complicated.
Show first – then hand over responsibility
Here too, host families can follow the same principle we recommend at Besondere Sterne for many areas of induction:
Show. Do together. Accompany. Hand over responsibility.
The first time, the host family organises the journey.
The second time, the au pair already watches more closely.
Next time, the roles can be swapped.
Now the au pair looks up the connection independently, says when you need to set off, finds the right platform and decides where to get off.
Mum or Dad still comes along – but deliberately holds back.
This lets you observe wonderfully:
Does the au pair find the connection?
Can they orient themselves?
Do they know what to do in the event of a delay?
Do they find the way back?
And at some point comes the moment when you can say:
“You know this route now. From tomorrow, you can take it on yourself.”
Not alone across Munich on the second day
Especially in larger cities, the transport network can seem overwhelming at first.
Underground, suburban railway, bus, tram, different platforms and short-notice platform changes – plus announcements in German.
For someone who has only just arrived and perhaps speaks German at A1 level, that isn't necessarily self-explanatory.
That is why a lack of independence in the first few days is not a sign that an au pair is fundamentally lacking in independence.
Sometimes what's simply missing is experience with this particular system.
Give orientation – and then the opportunity to become independent.
Set up timetable apps together
A smartphone can help enormously here.
Show your au pair which app makes sense for local public transport in your region.
First, save the important places:
Home.
School.
Nursery.
Language school.
Therapy.
Sports club.
Train station.
Show how to look up a connection and where delays or changes are shown.
Google Maps or other navigation apps can also give extra security at the start.
The goal is not for the host family to keep looking up every connection forever.
The goal is:
The au pair learns to do it themselves.
Explaining the Deutschlandticket and tickets
The ticketing system should also be discussed.
Depending on which routes the au pair regularly travels, a Deutschlandticket – a nationwide public transport pass, currently priced at €58 a month, valid on local and regional buses and trains throughout Germany – or another regional offer may make sense.
Which ticket actually fits depends on where you live and which connections are regularly needed.
What matters first is explaining to the au pair:
Which ticket do I have?
Where is it valid?
What do I need to show during a ticket check?
Do I need a different ticket for certain connections?
This too is part of finding your way around in a new country.
What happens if something goes wrong?
The bus doesn't come.
The train is delayed.
The au pair gets off one stop too late.
The connection is missed.
These kinds of situations should also be discussed at some point.
Especially at the start, a simple sentence helps:
“If you're unsure, call us.”
The au pair should know that a mistake is not automatically a drama.
Someone afraid of doing something wrong often becomes even more unsure.
Someone who knows they can call if there's a problem, on the other hand, is more likely to dare to try things independently.
Public transport can enable participation for children with disabilities
For families with a child with a disability, buses and trains can have a whole different significance.
Perhaps the child cannot use public transport alone because of their stage of development.
With a trusted companion, however, it is entirely possible.
The au pair can then, for example, accompany the child by bus to sport, music school, therapy or a leisure activity.
And sometimes there doesn't need to be an appointment at all.
Taking the bus can also be a lovely afternoon outing
Some children love buses and trains.
Why not turn that into a lovely afternoon routine?
The au pair, for example, travels a few stops by bus together with the child to a nice park.
There, they go for a walk.
Maybe they go to the playground.
Afterwards, there's an ice cream.
And then both travel home together again.
For the child, it's a lovely afternoon.
For the au pair, it's childcare done together.
And, quite incidentally, the child perhaps practises mobility, orientation and participation in public spaces.
Severe disability ID card and companion
For a child with a disability, there can also be special rules for using public transport.
Depending on the markers entered in the Schwerbehindertenausweis (severe disability ID card) and other requirements, the child may be entitled to free travel on public transport. If the marker “B” (for an accompanying person) is entered, a companion may also travel free of charge.
Families should check, based on the severe disability ID card and the entitlements attached to it, whether these requirements are met in their individual case and which documents are needed.
This can be particularly relevant for families where the au pair regularly accompanies the child to activities as a companion or leisure assistant.
The au pair can also act as leisure assistance
Especially with a child with a disability, an au pair can be a valuable leisure assistant in everyday life.
They accompany the child to the playground, the sports club, children's gymnastics, music groups for young children, or other leisure activities.
Public transport creates additional possibilities for this.
Perhaps the parents can't drive the child every afternoon.
But the au pair can use the bus or train together with the child, making possible activities that would otherwise be organisationally difficult.
Under certain conditions, assistance services in the leisure sphere can also play a role in connection with the Persönliches Budget (Personal Budget, a German benefit that lets people with disabilities choose and pay for their own support services). Whether and to what extent this is possible in an individual case must be clarified with the responsible funding body.
Accompanying journeys count as working time too
When the au pair accompanies a child by bus or train to school, therapy or a leisure activity, this time counts as part of the au pair's working time.
Even if both of them just sit on the bus for 20 minutes looking out of the window.
In this situation, the au pair is not travelling privately but accompanying the child as part of their agreed duties.
These times must therefore be counted towards the maximum of six hours a day and 30 hours a week.
Independence cannot be demanded – but it can be encouraged
Of course, host families want an independent au pair.
And that is entirely understandable.
The goal should also be that at some point the au pair says:
“No problem. I'll pick the children up and then we'll take the bus to children's gymnastics.”
But independence doesn't come from putting a young person in an unfamiliar country and saying:
“You're an adult. Find your way around.”
It comes from knowledge, experience and security.
Show them the area.
Travel the first routes together.
Explain tickets and apps.
Then let the au pair organise the next journey while you just come along.
And after that, hand over responsibility step by step.
Because if we ourselves were standing in an unfamiliar country tomorrow, we would probably also be grateful if someone said, the first time:
“Come on, I'll show you how it works here.”
