Particular need
Au pair for a child without a diagnosis
Support does not always need a name
Your child develops differently from other children. Perhaps they need more support, more time, more supervision or more assistance in everyday life. Perhaps there are differences in development, behaviour, speech or motor skills — but so far no clear diagnosis.
Or you have already been going through an assessment process for months or years without getting a clear answer.
At Besondere Sterne: your child does not need a diagnosis for your family to deserve support.
We place au pairs with families who have children with and without a disability or additional needs — even when there is not yet a name for a child's particular differences.
My child has additional needs, but no diagnosis
Not every particular difference in a child is immediately backed by a clear diagnosis.
Parents often notice very early that their child needs more support in certain situations. Perhaps they develop more slowly, speak little or not at all yet, need support with everyday routines, or cannot yet judge dangers appropriately for their age.
Other children react especially sensitively to change, need very fixed routines, struggle with transitions, or need considerably more supervision than children of the same age.
And sometimes it is simply clear:
Our child needs more support — even if we do not yet know exactly why.
This is not a barrier to finding an au pair.
Does my child need a diagnosis to find an au pair through Besondere Sterne?
No.
What matters to us is not which diagnosis appears in a doctor's letter.
Far more important is the question:
What does your everyday life actually look like?
What can your child already do independently? Where do they need support? How do they communicate? Which situations work well? What is difficult for them? Are there fixed routines? Do they need particular supervision? What tasks would you like an au pair to take on?
This information is often far more useful for a placement than the name of a diagnosis alone.
How can an au pair support a child without a diagnosis?
An au pair helps with childcare and in everyday family life.
Depending on age, stage of development and individual support needs, an au pair can, for example:
- play, do crafts, read aloud or be active outdoors together,
- accompany the child in everyday life,
- support getting dressed, mealtimes and other routines,
- take the child to nursery (Kita) or school,
- accompany them to therapy or leisure activities,
- help carry familiar routines and structures,
- give a child more time for everyday tasks,
- look after siblings,
- accompany and structure afternoons,
- take on light tasks around the children,
- provide babysitting within the agreed working hours.
This is not about replacing a missing diagnosis with an au pair.
It is about making everyday family life easier.
When the assessment process is still ongoing
Many families know this situation: there have already been examinations, doctor's appointments or therapies, but still no final diagnosis.
Perhaps there is a suspicion of a developmental delay, autism, ADHD, a genetic condition or another difference. Perhaps individual diagnoses have already been ruled out. Perhaps a genetic test is coming up, or the cause remains unclear despite extensive assessment.
A family does not have to wait until this process is finished before seeking support in everyday life.
An au pair can already become part of everyday family life during an ongoing assessment and help with the very practical things.
We place according to need – not according to diagnosis
Two children with the same diagnosis can have completely different needs.
And two children without a diagnosis can be just as different from one another.
That is why at Besondere Sterne we do not place au pairs according to a formula like:
Diagnosis X = au pair Y.
We want to understand what support your family actually needs.
Perhaps you are looking for someone with a great deal of patience. Perhaps your child needs an active person who enjoys being outdoors. Perhaps you need support for siblings. Or you would like an au pair who already has experience with children with a developmental delay or a disability.
We take these individual requirements into account when looking for suitable au pairs.
An au pair does not make a diagnosis and does not replace a qualified professional
An au pair is not a doctor, not a therapist and not an education or medical professional.
It is therefore not an au pair's task to assess behaviour, judge a possible diagnosis, or independently carry out therapeutic measures.
Medical or nursing tasks are also not part of an au pair's regular duties.
An au pair can, however, help carry the everyday routines and structures that parents have set up for their child.
Because that is exactly where a large part of family life takes place.
Siblings deserve relief too
When a child needs a particularly high level of support, this often affects the whole family.
Doctor's appointments, therapies, assessments and increased childcare needs take time. At the same time, siblings also want to be picked up, to go to sport, to the playground, or simply to get attention.
An au pair can therefore support more than just the child with increased support needs.
It can be just as valuable for the au pair to be there for the siblings while parents attend an appointment or focus intensively on another child.
Relief can look different for every family.
You do not have to fit into a box
Developmental delay. Autism. ADHD. Genetic condition. Learning or physical disability. Rare disease.
Diagnoses can help make sense of differences and find suitable support.
But sometimes that answer does not exist yet.
And sometimes it never comes.
That is why, at Besondere Sterne, you do not first have to decide which category your child belongs to.
Tell us about your child and your everyday family life.
Together we will look at what support you need and which au pair might fit.
Getting to know each other
Finding an au pair for a child without a diagnosis
Do you feel that your child needs more support than other children, but you have not received a clear diagnosis so far? You can still turn to Besondere Sterne. We support families in finding a suitable au pair — whether a diagnosis already exists, an assessment is under way, or the cause of a child's particular differences remains unclear. Because your child does not need a name for their particular differences in order to receive support.
Besondere Sterne is an au pair agency — not a special-education service and not an advice centre. For legal and specialist questions there is the EUTB: teilhabeberatung.de. Go to whichever advice centre you feel comfortable with.