Particular need
Au pair for foster families
Support and relief in everyday family life
Taking in a foster child means giving a child a place in your own family. At the same time, everyday life in a foster family can bring particular demands: appointments, nursery (Kita) or school, contact with the birth family, siblings, work and ordinary family life all have to be brought together.
An au pair can also live with a foster family and support the family in everyday life.
At Besondere Sterne we place au pairs with families who have children with and without a disability or additional needs – and also with foster families who would like an extra helping hand in everyday family life.
Can a foster family take in an au pair?
In principle, foster families can also take in an au pair, provided the general requirements for hosting an au pair are met.
It is important to us to consider every family individually. Because one foster family is not the same as another, and one foster child is not the same as another.
Some families mainly want support with very everyday things: picking children up from nursery (Kita), playing together, looking after siblings, or accompanying afternoons.
Other foster children need more structure and support because of their previous experiences, a developmental delay, a disability or another particular circumstance.
What matters, therefore, is not simply that a child lives in a foster family, but what support is actually needed in everyday family life.
How can an au pair support a foster family?
An au pair lives with the host family as an additional family member for a limited time and helps with childcare and light tasks around the children.
Depending on the children's age and the family's situation, an au pair can, for example:
- accompany the children in the morning or afternoon,
- take on nursery (Kita) or school runs,
- play, do crafts, read aloud or be outdoors together,
- accompany the children to leisure activities,
- support everyday routines such as getting dressed, tidying up or mealtimes,
- prepare simple meals for the children,
- look after siblings,
- give structure and reliability in the afternoon,
- take on light tasks around the children,
- provide babysitting within the agreed working hours.
Especially in families with several children, an extra attachment figure in everyday life can change a great deal.
While one parent, for example, takes a child to an appointment, the au pair can be there for the siblings. Or the au pair takes on a nursery (Kita) run, takes a child to sport, or spends an afternoon at the playground.
This creates small pockets of freedom that are often especially valuable in everyday family life.
When a foster child needs more support
Not every foster child has particular support needs.
There are, however, children who need more security, structure, repetition or reliable routines because of their previous experiences. Other foster children also live with a developmental delay, ADHD, autism, FASD, a disability or a chronic illness.
In these families we pay particularly close attention during the placement process:
What does the child need in everyday life? What does the family expect from the au pair? And which personality might fit well?
It can be important, for example, that an au pair is patient, can carry clear structures well, or already has experience with children with additional needs.
An additional attachment figure – but not a replacement for qualified professionals
An au pair can become a familiar and reliable person in everyday life. Even so, the role remains clear:
An au pair is not an education professional, not a therapist and not a carer.
They do not carry out professional trauma work, therapy, medical care, or tasks that require corresponding professional qualification.
An au pair provides support exactly where au pair support can be especially valuable: in ordinary, everyday family life.
They can be there, accompany, play, cover journeys, help carry routines, and give parents time for other children, appointments or organisational tasks.
Which au pair suits a foster family?
That cannot be answered in general terms.
For some foster families, an open, active au pair who enjoys being outdoors and can keep several children occupied at once is a good fit.
Other families need a particularly calm and patient person. Others again are specifically looking for an au pair who already has experience with children with a disability or additional needs.
That is why, at Besondere Sterne, we look not just at a term like 'foster child', but at the whole family situation.
The children's ages, support needs, daily routine, sibling constellation and the family's expectations all play an important part in finding a suitable au pair.
Relief for foster parents can be very ordinary
Relief does not always have to be a big measure.
Sometimes relief means someone picking a sibling up from nursery (Kita).
That a child does not have to be brought along to an appointment.
That someone has time to play in the afternoon.
That one parent can attend an appointment while someone familiar stays at home with the other children.
Or that on a long day, there is simply another person there to help.
This is exactly the particular strength of an au pair: support does not only happen at individual appointments, but right in the middle of family life.
Finding an au pair for a foster family
At Besondere Sterne we also support foster families in finding a suitable au pair.
Together we look at how your family lives, what support you would like, and which experience and qualities an au pair should bring for your individual situation.
Because not every foster family needs the same thing – and not every au pair fits every family.
Getting to know each other
Are you a foster family looking for support in everyday life?
Then get to know our au pairs and find a person who fits your children and your everyday family life.
Besondere Sterne is an au pair agency — not a special-education service and not an advice centre. For legal and specialist questions there is the EUTB: teilhabeberatung.de. Go to whichever advice centre you feel comfortable with.