Financing an au pair when your child needs help – the options families should know about

An au pair could make everyday family life enormously easier.

But quite quickly, the question comes up:

How are we supposed to finance an au pair?

Families with a child with a disability in particular often already have higher expenses. Therapies, aids, journeys and additional support are, for many, already part of everyday life.

The good news: if your child has a Pflegegrad (a German care level determining entitlement to statutory long-term care benefits) or an entitlement to Eingliederungshilfe (a German benefit supporting participation in society), there are several financial benefits worth knowing.

Because when it comes to the cost of an au pair, it is worth looking beyond the expenses side alone.

What does an au pair cost?

An au pair does, of course, come with ongoing costs.

In Germany, an au pair receives 280 € pocket money per month.

On top of that comes a monthly contribution of 70 € towards the German language course, plus, where applicable, the necessary travel costs to the language course.

The host family also covers the cost of the required au pair insurance.

Accommodation and meals are likewise provided by the host family free of charge.

If placed through Besondere Sterne, our one-off placement fee is added.

At first, that sounds like several cost items.

Set against this, however, is up to 30 hours of support per week in everyday family life.

And for families with a child with a disability, there are several ways to factor existing benefits into their own financial planning.

1. Pflegegeld: use it flexibly for your own everyday family life

If your child has at least Pflegegrad 2 and home care is provided by the family itself, Pflegegeld (a German cash care allowance) can be paid.

In 2026, the monthly Pflegegeld amounts to:

• Pflegegrad 2: 347 euros
• Pflegegrad 3: 599 euros
• Pflegegrad 4: 800 euros
• Pflegegrad 5: 990 euros

Pflegegeld is paid out directly and can, in principle, be used freely, as long as home care is provided.

This means it can also be an important building block in financing an au pair.

This does not, of course, turn an au pair into a carer.

But families can decide to put part of their Pflegegeld towards the cost of support that brings them relief every day.

2. Verhinderungspflege: clarify individually with the Pflegekasse

Another option families often ask us about is Verhinderungspflege (statutory respite care benefit).

Since July 2025, this has shared a combined annual allowance together with Kurzzeitpflege (short-term residential care).

In 2026, a total of up to 3,539 euros per calendar year is available for this.

Verhinderungspflege can also be used on an hourly basis, when the person who normally provides care is unavailable.

But:

There is a particular feature when it comes to an au pair.

During their stay, the au pair lives together with the family and therefore also with the child needing care, in the same household. For people who live in the same household as the person needing care, special rules and reimbursement limits apply to Verhinderungspflege.

This is why we recommend to our families:

Speak to your Pflegekasse beforehand and explicitly describe your au pair situation.

Ask them to explain whether, and to what amount, reimbursement is possible in your specific case, before you factor this money into your calculations.

3. Persönliches Budget and Eingliederungshilfe

Another route can be via Eingliederungshilfe benefits.

Here, families often come across the term Persönliches Budget (a German benefit paid to you as money you manage yourself).

The Persönliches Budget is not an additional social benefit. Instead of a particular benefit in kind, an already existing entitlement to a participation benefit can, under the relevant conditions, be paid out as a cash benefit instead.

This allows people with disabilities to organise the support they need more independently.

For a child, this could, for example, involve assistance and support to participate in social life.

Whether an au pair, or which specific assistance services provided by the au pair, can be financed this way depends on the individual need, the benefit that has been approved, and the agreement with the responsible provider.

So here, too, the same applies:

Do not take on the au pair first and then expect reimbursement afterwards.

Speak to the responsible provider beforehand and have them check what options exist for your child.

4. And what about the Entlastungsbetrag?

The Entlastungsbetrag (a monthly relief allowance from long-term care insurance) is also one of the benefits provided by long-term care insurance.

In 2026, it amounts to 131 € per month and is available from Pflegegrad 1 onwards.

It is important to note, however:

The Entlastungsbetrag is earmarked for a specific purpose.

It cannot simply be paid out freely and then used at will for the cost of an au pair.

Which services can be financed or reimbursed through it is set out by law and depends, among other things, on the recognised providers concerned.

For this reason, the Entlastungsbetrag should not automatically be planned in as an "au pair budget".

Several options rather than just one source of financing

For families, the interesting question is therefore not:

"Which single benefit pays for our au pair?"

A much more useful question is:

"Which benefits is our child already entitled to, and how can we sensibly finance our support overall?"

Perhaps you receive Pflegegeld.

Perhaps Eingliederungshilfe benefits or a Persönliches Budget also come into question.

Perhaps, in your individual situation, part of the Verhinderungspflege can also be used.

Other benefits, in turn, you continue to use for a Pflegedienst (professional care service), a recognised everyday support service, or other professional support.

This is how an individual support system can be built up.

Do not just calculate what an au pair costs

With all this financing, there is also a second side to consider.

What do you actually get in return?

An au pair does not come round twice a week for two hours.

They live with your family.

They get to know your child.

Eventually, they know the morning routine.

They know when the siblings come home.

They know the favourite games, the routines and the small particularities of your everyday family life.

And, within the legal framework, they can support you for up to 30 hours a week.

In the mornings, that can mean two extra hands.

An afternoon with the child with a disability.

Time for the siblings.

Support during the holidays.

Someone who plays with the children while you get something done.

Or simply another familiar adult in the house.

Try doing the sums the other way round

Of course, an au pair costs money.

But do not look only at the monthly total.

Work out what up to 30 hours of support a week would mean for your family.

Not from a constantly changing carer.

But from someone who lives with you and gets to know your everyday life better and better.

Someone you do not have to explain how your family works to, from scratch, every morning.

Someone your child can build trust in over the months.

And someone who can also be there for the siblings.

An au pair can be one building block of your support system

Families with a child with a disability in particular often have to put support together from several different building blocks.

• Care.
• Therapy.
• Eingliederungshilfe.
• School or Kita (nursery/pre-school).
• Family relief services.
• And perhaps an au pair.

An au pair does not replace a carer, therapy, or professional assistance.

It closes a completely different gap: everyday family life in between.

The mornings, the afternoons, the holidays, the sibling time, and all the small situations for which you would not book a service – but where two extra hands can make a huge difference.

Our tip from Besondere Sterne

If you are considering taking on an au pair, do not just look at the question:

"Can we afford an au pair?"

First check which benefits your child is already entitled to, and which further entitlements might exist.

Talk to your Pflegekasse about Pflegegeld and Verhinderungspflege.

Get advice on whether Eingliederungshilfe benefits or a Persönliches Budget could be an option for your child's individual support needs.

And then look at your actual costs.

Because on one side, there may not simply be one more monthly expense.

But on the other side:

• up to 30 hours of support per week.
• A familiar person.
• Two more hands.
• More time for siblings.
• More breathing space for mum and dad.

And support exactly where families with a child with a disability need it every day:

right in the middle of everyday family life.