Particular need
Au pair support for gifted children
Support for families with a gifted child
A child who from an early age asks unusually many questions, grasps connections quickly, has an intense interest in particular subjects, or is clearly further ahead than others in certain areas, can shape everyday family life in their own particular way.
Giftedness is not an illness and not a disability.
Even so, gifted children can have individual needs. Some are constantly looking for new challenges, others become absorbed in particular interests for hours. Some feel at times underchallenged in kindergarten or school, or need additional opportunities outside these settings to pursue their interests.
An au pair for a gifted child can give extra time, support the child's interests, shape free time, and take some of the load off parents in everyday family life.
At Besondere Sterne, we do not only look at disabilities or diagnoses. What matters to us is what a child and their family need in everyday life.
What does giftedness in children mean?
The term giftedness is usually used when a child has an unusually high intellectual ability.
How this shows itself, however, varies a great deal.
Some gifted children learn to read or do arithmetic early. Others have an unusually large vocabulary, take an intense interest in complex subjects, or grasp connections very quickly.
Others again do not stand out at all as gifted in everyday life at first.
Giftedness also does not automatically mean that a child is further ahead in every area of development than other children.
A child can be intellectually far ahead of their age group and, at the same time, be entirely typical of their actual age emotionally.
Giftedness in everyday family life
"Why?"
"But why is that?"
"What if …?"
"And what happens next?"
Some gifted children want to understand their world very precisely.
One subject leads to the next, and one answered question straight to three new ones.
For parents, this can be wonderful and exhausting at the same time — particularly when, alongside work, the household and siblings, there simply is not always time to pursue every interest in depth.
An au pair can be an additional person in the child's life who brings that time.
Not as a teacher.
But as a person who can discover, try things out and be curious together with a child.
How can an au pair support a gifted child?
An au pair does not need any particular educational training and does not need to run a special enrichment programme.
Rather, they can accompany the child's ordinary everyday life and interests.
Depending on age and personality, an au pair might, for example:
- read and discover books together,
- play board, card or strategy games,
- build, experiment and be creative,
- visit museums, libraries or exhibitions,
- cook or bake together,
- spend time outdoors and explore the local area,
- bring sport and exercise into everyday life,
- take up the child's particular interests and hobbies,
- take the child to and from kindergarten or school,
- accompany leisure activities,
- look after siblings,
- prepare simple meals for the children,
- take on light everyday tasks involving the children,
- take on babysitting within the agreed working hours.
In doing so, one thing holds true:
Not every free minute of a gifted child needs to be used for enrichment.
Giving interests room
Space.
Dinosaurs.
History.
Mathematics.
Animals.
Technology.
Languages.
Music.
Trains.
Chemistry.
Or a subject the rest of the family had never even heard of a few weeks ago.
Some children become deeply absorbed in particular areas of interest and want to talk, read and find out more and more about them.
An au pair can take up such interests.
Perhaps they look for a book together at the library.
Perhaps they build a model.
Perhaps they visit a museum.
Or they simply sit at the kitchen table and discuss why Saturn has rings.
An au pair does not need to know all the answers.
Finding something out together can be just as valuable as already knowing the answer.
When kindergarten or school do not offer enough challenge
Not every gifted child automatically feels underchallenged in kindergarten or school.
For some children, though, this can play a part.
Perhaps a child finishes tasks very quickly. Perhaps they get bored with repetition, or want to explore subjects that are not yet covered in lessons.
Here too, an au pair does not replace a teacher and does not take on any school-based support.
But they can create opportunities outside kindergarten and school to pursue interests freely.
And sometimes that is exactly what is so valuable:
Learning without it feeling like learning.
Gifted — and still simply a child
A high intelligence quotient does not turn a child into a small adult.
A child can understand complicated connections and still cry over a lost cuddly toy.
They can read books actually meant for older children, and five minutes later lie on the floor building with Lego.
They can ask extraordinary questions and still need help putting their shoes on.
These differences between intellectual and emotional development are sometimes described as asynchronous development.
An au pair should therefore not expect a gifted child to be particularly independent or "sensible" in every area of life.
They are allowed simply to be a child, in keeping with their age.
Giftedness alongside other additional needs
Giftedness can also occur alongside other developmental features.
A child can, for example, be gifted and also have ADHD or be autistic.
Speech and language conditions, dyslexia or other additional needs can also exist independently of a high ability.
Sometimes giftedness is only recognised late, because another feature is initially more prominent.
That is why, at Besondere Sterne, we do not look at individual terms in isolation.
We look at the whole child and their actual everyday family life.
Which au pair suits a gifted child?
A gifted child does not automatically need a gifted au pair.
Top grades or a particular educational qualification are not essential either.
Curiosity can matter far more.
An au pair who enjoys reading.
Who loves sport.
Who is creative.
Who enjoys trying new things.
Who is interested in a child's questions.
And who can also say:
"No idea — let's find that out together."
Which personality fits best always depends on the individual child.
An au pair is not a teacher or specialist gifted-education provider
An au pair does not replace a teacher or professional gifted education.
It is not their task to give extra lessons, draw up learning plans, or make sure a child learns as much as possible as quickly as possible.
An au pair accompanies everyday family life.
Playing.
Reading.
Talking.
Discovering.
Sport.
Free time.
Outings.
Siblings.
And sometimes simply an afternoon on the sofa.
This is exactly where the value of an au pair can lie.
Relief for the whole family
With giftedness too, having an au pair does not mean that every task has to revolve around the gifted child.
Perhaps the au pair takes on a school run.
Perhaps they accompany a sibling to sport.
Perhaps they spend an afternoon with one child while parents need time for another sibling.
Or they simply give parents a little more room in everyday family life.
Because regardless of giftedness, one thing holds true:
Families sometimes simply need an additional reliable person in everyday life.
Finding an au pair for a gifted child
At Besondere Sterne, we support families in finding an au pair who fits their individual everyday family life.
Even if your child does not have a disability or a condition, but has particular interests or needs because of giftedness, you are welcome to get in touch with us.
Together, we look at what excites your child, what your everyday life looks like, and which personality could fit well with your family.
You can then get to know suitable au pairs and decide for yourself who is the right person for your children and your family.
Getting to know each other
Looking for an au pair for a gifted child?
Then get to know our au pairs and find support that fits your everyday family life.
Besondere Sterne is an au pair agency — not a special-education service and not an advice centre. For legal and specialist questions there is the EUTB: teilhabeberatung.de. Go to whichever advice centre you feel comfortable with.